Lately, it has been like living in a snow globe. Gentle snow falls, and the ground is covered in a soft white blanket. The kids have thoroughly enjoyed playing outside in the snow under the big skies we have in Idaho. Smiles, laughter, rosy cheeks, lots of snow angels and hot cocoa of course!

A few days ago I overheard my husband exclaim that he liked shovelling snow, because he enjoys the exercise. Inside my heart smiles thinking what a great attitude he has toward our winter wonderland.

The local red barns covered in snow look gorgeous and take my breath away. Icicles hang from many of the rooftops. A feeling of excitement and magic lurks in the air.

All the beauty reminds me that life is meant to be enjoyed. Here in our own corner of the world in the very northern United States I’m taking it all in with a big smile and a warm heart.

What a beautiful world we live in!

“Inside the snow globe on my father's desk, there was a penguin wearing a red-and-white-striped scarf. When I was little my father would pull me into his lap and reach for the snow globe. He would turn it over, letting all the snow collect on the top, then quickly invert it. The two of us watched the snow fall gently around the penguin. The penguin was alone in there, I thought, and I worried for him. When I told my father this, he said, "Don't worry, Susie; he has a nice life. He's trapped in a perfect world.”                ~Alice Sebold, The Lovely Bones

Similar to my son and I having regular Mommy-son 20 minutes, my husband and I do the same. Only our 20 minutes comes in the form of an evening soak in the tub directly following the kid’s bedtime.

In that space there are no distractions. Simply the 2 of us talking about our day, about whatever is on our mind, about our dreams. It is 20 minutes of powerful one on one connection. 

Our evening bath is something we both enjoy and look forward too. Not to mention we smell nice before bed! I love lavender Epsom salts.

Finding a place, a space to connect regularly with the people you adore in life opens you up to incredible joy, and at the same time a quiet, peaceful joy. This is exactly how you can open the inner door to happiness – a few minutes of truly seeing and hearing the people you love, and being heard by them.

20 minutes with my son, 20 minutes with my daughter, 20 minutes with my husband make up the best hour of my day! With each 20 minutes comes unique gifts. Gifts from one soul to another.

Connection is extremely important to our happiness. Sometimes we put it off or overlook its importance in our life because we don’t feel we have much time, but I’m here to show you it is not about the quantity, it is about the quality of the time spent together. So take 20 minutes as often as you can. Best of all make it a habit!

Connect with the people you love and be happier for it!

What do children want more than anything else? More than any toy or present.

Your undivided attention!

The reality is it is not always easy to give, but it is priceless and nothing can replace its value in your child’s life.

Now that we are back into the full swing of school, homework, activities, and ya know...  everything else life throws at you. I started to have this feeling inside. A whisper as Oprah would call it, that my son was missing out on some true quality one on one time with me.

My daughter, at 2 years old is, of course, attached at my hip, so that’s a different story...for now anyway. However, my son now at 5.5 years old is much more capable of taking care of a lot of things on his own. Although he loves to be with you, he is more independent, which is a good thing, but nonetheless I was starting to feel as though we weren’t spending much quality time together.

Most of our time was distracted. I was helping his sister at the same time, or cooking dinner, or cleaning up and so on. And so I decided to listen to that inner whisper and created Mommy & Son 20 minutes. As it turns out, 20 minutes means the world to both of us.

Now 20 minutes doesn’t sound like a long time, and it’s not, but it’s just that perfect amount of time in the evening that I can drop everything I’m doing without feeling stressed and pay totally attention to my son. Daddy distracting Little Sister is a must or she’d never go for it! Usually it is a good time for her to have a bath.

We start our 20 minutes with a secret Mommy-Son handshake. We also end with our special shake. I let my son dictate what he wants to do whether it be play, talk, or do a craft. Most of the time he wants to work on a craft or bake together, and that’s totally cool and a lot of fun for me too.

Making 20 minutes of un-distracted time together a routine and priority has made a huge difference to both of us. My son gets the undivided attention he so desperately wants and needs. Besides the fact that being with my family is my #1 priority and exactly what I’d want to be doing if I knew today was my last day on earth, it has also relieved some of the Mommy guilt. If I’m busy during the day and I don’t feel like I’m giving my son enough attention I know we will have our 20 minutes together so everything is going to be OK!

You can’t give your children anything better than your love and undivided attention. So try making it a routine, a habit. Wait until you see the joy on their face as they begin to look forward to your special time together! If you can’t do it every day, try doing it a couple times a week. Make it habitual like Mon, Wed, Fri or whatever works for you.  Creating a habit makes all the difference in following through with your good intentions. Kids learn quickly they can count on you, and that you will always make time for them.

Making your kids a priority means more than just saying family is #1, it means showing your family that they are, and 20 minutes is something we can all schedule in and do! It is quality over quantity in this case, so put everything else aside and live like there is no tomorrow for those special 20 minutes. They’ll change your life, and your child’s!

What special activities do you like to do with your children? Do you have any special memories of activities you did with your parents when you were a kid?

Do we hold back who we really are because of what others expect of us?

There is something calming about familiarity in loved ones. What happens when our expectations hinder the journey of those we love?

We expect people to act or react how we are used to in the past. The truth is none of us are our past any longer. Granting each other freedom to grow, freedom from preconceived notions of who we think they are, freedom to be different from the past. This freedom is a tremendous act of love.

Think of things you used to like or dislike in the past. How have some of them changed? Maybe you like a certain type of food you never thought you’d try. Or a type of music you once renounced. It could be that your passions have changed, or expanded. Who we are is constantly changing, constantly growing. That is the beautiful and surprising thing about life.

We especially have a hard time with accepting the change of family members. We try to keep them in the same mental box we placed them in years ago. Let your family members know you accept and love who they are today, and who they will become tomorrow.

Release expectations and grant your loved ones freedom to continuously grow and change.

It happens. Someone within earshot talks about what they are struggling with as a parent. You care. You genuinely want to help. You want to tell them what worked for you. What didn’t!

That’s been me. Lots of times! On a good day I will take a step back and simply listen, instead of dolling out my opinion. (*Note: not every day is a good day. I am the eldest sibling ;)

Here’s the thing. People want to figure it out for themselves. They want to follow their own path, their own heart. Not someone else’s. They just want to be heard. They just want to be supported. The most loving thing we can do is to listen, to give our support, and not make it about us or our experience.

What I know is I’m NO parenting expert.

What I know is despite that I still want to do things my own way. Find my own path.

I want to give my friends, my family, people I’m blessed to share this experience with the same freedom.

Freedom to choose.

Freedom not to be pressured by me.

I accept that it is not my job to clear the path for someone else, no matter how good the intentions.

Children, this one’s for you. You can show this to me when you feel I am not living by these words. One simple request: Be kind...remember those good intentions?!

Signed,

Wendy Irene

MOM ♥

“As you breathe, pray for the edge that is you to be as thin as possible and only as thick as necessary.” ~Mark Nepo       The Book of Awakening

Too many to-dos, too many items in your home that require maintenance, cleaning, and taking care of, too many clothes in your closet and dresser you never wear.

Excess is like clouds blocking us from the sun.

In our garage, we still have lots of boxes left unpacked. We are always meaning to go through them, sort, and lighten the load of excess. Somehow we have not carved out time to accomplish this goal. I wonder why? Sounds like fun ;). Looking at the clutter sits heavy on my soul.

*Note: Except for the boxes of holiday decorations. Those don’t make me feel cluttered, they bring me immense joy! My husband would disagree.

**Also note: You can never have too many pumpkins in the fall. I like to call those my environmentally friendly decorations ;)

If you were to walk from our garage into our home, you would see an excess amount of televisions. We still own a TV that I had in high school, and took with me to college. Since then I graduated, got married, and had 2 children. That tells you how old it is.

At this point in time our children are young so the TV time is controlled. However, our TV collection could prove to be a problem down the road. We’ve sprinkled TVs throughout our home. A couple of which rarely get turned on.

*Another Note: The TV in our kitchen is a keeper! My husband watches sports while washing the dishes. It works well for both of us. I don’t complain about the sports while he is cleaning the kitchen, therefore he watches in peace. Ladies- if this is an issue in your home I highly recommend it as a compromise.

Beware of Bulk

An area that has been an improvement for me is buying less bulk. I know you might be thinking it is less economical, but I can’t tell you how many times I’ve thrown out flour, sugar, or crackers that I bought in bulk because they sat too long. Plus they take up a lot space and lose their freshness over time.

Generally speaking, the food you buy in bulk is not the food you want yourself to eat a large amount of, with the exception of frozen fruit and vegetables of course :). Having less bulk food has helped me to reduce excess food intake. My mentality now is fewer, fresher, higher quality ingredients.

Now that you have been through my garage full of boxes, and my house full of TVs, I’d like to take you out to my yard, where you will find an excess amount of weeds popping up through both our landscaping and our grass. This is my positive perspective on living in a cooler climate in the fall and winter- just when you think you can’t deal with the weeds and lawn care any longer it gets cold and Mother Nature takes care of it for you :).  Thank goodness! I’m a real slacker in this department. So long little white flowers killing my grass!

*Note: If you want to be my gardener, I’ll happily pay you in chocolate chip cookies! Any takers? Don’t all raise your hands at once.

Lastly, my 2-year old craps her pants an excess amount of times during the week. And like all 2-year olds do, she has mastered calming the parental reaction by following it up with something so darn cute! She sings Twinkle Twinkle Little Star in the sweetest high pitched voice you ever heard while washing her cute little hands. 

I would like to take this moment to thank Parenting. Illustrated with Crappy Pictures for what coloring time with my kids has now become...  Try it. It’s a great release :).

 

Please do share! Are there any areas in your life where you struggle with excess? Are you a TV or Holiday decoration hoarder like myself? OK, so I may also be a bit of a cookie monster, but only with chocolate chip :-P.

One of the most inspiring notions about my children is their pure zest for life. The smallest, most simple thing can excite them to no end, like having their own measuring spoons. At the same time, equally small things can get them terribly upset. For example, if you cut their sandwich in 2 halves when they didn’t want you to, not that I’ve experienced that or anything (I have 800 times!) Every parent knows, of course, that you’re supposed to be an expert at reading your child’s mind.

The energy of a child is awe-inspiring. Even during quiet time when my kids are watching a movie, they wouldn’t dream of sitting still. It honestly sounds like a herd of elephants stampeding across the floor, and I’m certain there are only 2 of them!

Children are so honest with their emotions. They don’t hold anything inside. When my son recently got hurt at school I asked him if he cried. He said “I did, A LOT!” Silly Mom, why would you ask me that “It really hurt!”

Children have the remarkable ability to release their joy or pain in that very moment. OK, so maybe it is a little awkward when it happens at a restaurant or in the grocery store, but it is good to live life purely, and a great reminder to let emotions out instead of allowing them to stew and bubble over into more suffering.

As adults, we take the expectations of how others expect us to act so deep and hard that we lock up our purest self. In trying to make sense of it all, we project and place expectations on others, continuing the oppression, often without even being aware of it. Art is a great tool to use in allowing emotions out because it has a unique ability to break through chains and barriers in a way we can all relate.

Today it is time to regain your natural zest for life. Let the smallest things delight you. Resist hindering the joyful experience. When you feel upset- own it! Most importantly, love the amazing person you are including your entire rainbow of emotions. 

 
What do the people in my life really need? Lately, I’ve been asking myself this question. As a Mom, I’m always asking myself what it is that my children need. The conclusion I’ve come to applies to all people.

To be heard & to be loved.

Forget understanding everything. If you can accomplish that you will be well on your way to a fulfilling relationship, no matter what kind of relationship we are talking about.

When people speak, listen. Don’t force your opinions, just listen and accept. It can be really hard not to interject your opinion. Try it and you’ll see. When someone is speaking allow it to be about them, not you. That is truly listening. (I am going to try really hard to do this with my kids...very hard not to interject!)

Love.  It is one word and a sentence all on its own. Love unconditionally and feel gratitude for the person’s presence in your life. Let them feel that love and appreciation.

Love is magic.

Love is healing.

Love is everything.

The moments I am most happy are when I am appreciating the people in my life.

It is easy to get annoyed with people, but it is not where happiness lies.

In my home my kids seem to be constantly fighting over wanting the same thing. Wanting what the other one has. It is a battle of the little egos. Sometimes it feels like a 3-way ego pull. What Mom wants, what Big Brother wants, and what Little Sister wants. What I need to remember in those times is that our center is the same, and for that I am extremely grateful.

If you can appreciate your children through the fighting, and appreciate your spouse regardless of your differences you have accomplished a great act of love.

Love is what life is all about. See how many great acts of love you can accomplish today. See how many times you can appreciate instead of feel annoyed.

It is a gift to you and those souls you are blessed to have in your life.

What you believe is your choice.

How cool is that?!

When I start to feel worn out, my view clouded, and parenting feels like a huge constant struggle over just about everything. The signs of ego surrounding and suffocating me. I start to repeat to myself “Please help me see clearly. PLEASE help my see clearly!” Until I once again remember that what I believe is my choice, and my self-power is restored.

I can choose to see parenting as a struggle or I can see it as peaceful. No one else gets to decide that for me. I begin to look for beauty in the situation. I start to care less about the never ending battles because they are only battles if I choose to focus on them that way.

Instead my eyes begin to open, and I see two beautiful souls on a journey. A scenic journey right along side of me. The feelings of being incredibly blessed roll in again.

Our most powerful choice is what we believe. We can change our beliefs at any given moment in time, and no one can ever take that from us.

Seriously, how magnificent is that? Our choice.