Cleanse Your Life of Complaining

03/07/2011

New! Photo added to Shop

Lately, there is one aspect of life that I have really grown tired of. Complaining. I am not talking about other people here. I am talking about myself. I don’t believe myself to be a big complainer. Does anyone though? That doesn’t change the fact that I am tired of hearing myself complain about life situations.

Most recently it was needing 4 new tires for our car. Obviously, I would rather not need new tires and save that money, or use it for just about anything else, but it is a fact of life. Honestly, looking back, I feel redonkulous for complaining about it. “Capisha Redonkulous? You know what that means?” [That one was for you, honey!] ;-) Follow the link to watch the video clip.

I’m so lucky to own a car that needs new tires and that gets me where I need to go, so enough of the complaining about things. Yes, even how hard it is to be a Mom sometimes! Complaining doesn’t change ANYTHING, so I’m over that and onto focusing on all the tremendous blessings in my life.

After reading A New Earth a few years ago, the teachings of Eckhart Tolle regarding complaining stood out to me.

“The ego loves to complain -- but that which we focus on becomes stronger. So by focusing on the complaints, worries, concerns, etc., we make these conditions stronger. As Tolle said in his Webinar with Oprah, "complaining" is not done for the purpose of correcting a situation. That is something different. Complaining is done simply as the ego's way of reinforcing its "rightness" and someone else's "wrongness." ~www.squidoo.com/eckharttollenewearth

In the past, I have thought if I complain about something, then I will feel better about it. I will have gotten it off my chest, so to speak. That is not truly the case though. Complaining doesn’t really make me feel better. It makes me feel worse. It intensifies that which is bothering me, and I certainly do not want to make those ‘conditions stronger’.

Complaining is a habit I would like to break. I don’t think it is going to be easy but I believe it is doable. I strongly have faith in the ripple effect that if I don’t complain so much maybe my kids won’t complain about dinner? OK, so that might be a pipe dream. I can’t control their feelings but I can control mine, and if staying positive, and biting my tongue when I feel the urge to complain keeps from intensifying negative feelings then it is worth a fair shot.

I’ll keep you posted on how I do. Although my gut is telling me this is going to be one of the hardest habits to break, I am taking it as a sign it might also be one of the most rewarding. Change is easier to accomplish when I have a good affirmation to combat the negative feelings when they arise. Give this one a try the next time you need to change directions with your thoughts: I lovingly fill my mind with thoughts of joy and peace. My favorite book for great positive affirmations is Heal Your Body by Louise Hay.

Wish me luck! ♥

What are your thoughts? Do you think it is possible to talk about one’s feelings without complaining?

Comments

Marilyn @ A Lot of Loves link

03/07/2011 4:55pm

Hmmm. I don't like to hear complaining, but I know myself to be a complainer. It's not pretty, but I find it really hard to stop. It's a habit I've had for my entire life. I wish you luck on breaking your habit!

Wendy Irene link

03/07/2011 10:03pm

@Marilyn-

Thank you :) I apprecaite it! Have a good day!

jassy link

03/07/2011 11:00pm

i think it is possible if we focus on our blessings instead of what's lacking :)

Laural (bhealthier) link

03/08/2011 5:52am

Hi there! I saw a St. Baldricks post and we had that here in town this past weekend, a good friend was a shavee! I thought you would have been in NC but it looks like st. baldrick's was nationwide this weekend!

anyhow- great blog! i too am trying to better myself by trying not to be critical of anyone else and complain less as well!

sheila @ Elements link

03/08/2011 7:17am

Your words really resonate with me, and I can so relate to what you're talking about.

I definitely think that our behavior and attitude spills over onto others. If we try to be positive, helpful, and kind, then we're creating a positive energy that, like laughter, can certainly be infectious.

As far as complaining, let me just say that I do complain sometimes. I get things off my chest and then try to let it go.

But I've found that I can validate my feelings of frustration by acknowledging them, but then I can put whatever it is that's bothering me into perspective. And if I'm having trouble doing that, my husband will always help me with that...and vica versa.

For example, I might have some problems at work and complain about a co-worker with whom I'm frustrated with. And I might also complain about how things don't happen at work the way I'd like, how tired I am, etc. But then I put that into perspective, realizing how incredibly fortunate I am to have a job. There are so many who don't.

When I met my husband, I was going through a hard time and thought my life was really difficult.

Then I learned about everything that he and many other people from his country had been through and I realized that my problems were nothing compared to what they had been through.

Putting my difficulties into perspective helped me a lot...and it still does.

So anyway, there are days when I complain, moan, and groan about things, but for the most part, after I "vent," I'm usually able to recognize and articulate just how good my life is.

Putting everything into perspective helps me feel better. It's reaffirming over and over that life is good...and it certainly is! :)

I enjoyed your post. Thanks for letting me participate in the discussion. :) Have a great day! sheila

Lindsay link

03/08/2011 11:14am

Very true post. Complaining negatively affects ourselves and others around us. I wonder if I just write something down then it serves the same as being said aloud to listening, impressionable ears. I will join you in your goal of complaining less!

Wendy Irene link

03/08/2011 5:05pm

@Jassy, @Laural, @ Sheila & @Lindsay-

Thanks so much for your words and for adding to the discussion!! I love hearing your thoughts!

@Lindsay-
I am so glad you want to join me! Power in numbers :)

Angela (the diet book junkie) link

03/09/2011 1:27am

i think you're right, complaining is a hard thing to indentify in ourselves sometimes. (guilty as charged.) but i totally believe it's a habit that can be broken, even if it takes time. being grateful leads to happiness, amen? :)

A little bit of everything link

03/09/2011 4:22pm

unfortunately i'm more of a negative person, I always see the empty half and I've been trying to break the habit but after dew days I go back :(
i hope you succeed in breaking the bad habits

Naomi Jesson link

03/16/2011 5:13pm

i like to think that if I complain a little, then like a bag of microwave popcorn, i will release the heat enough so that I will not explode with heat & burn anybody if I truly let my frustrations build up inside me. :)

Dee at Deelicious Sweets link

07/01/2011 12:57pm

I totally agree with you. I have found myself to feel worse after I get it off of my chest. Same goes with talking about people. It makes me feel bad about myself if I talk about someone else. Move on and see look toward the bright side of life and you will feel brighter inside for it. Great post...again!