“What would happen if we declared our home, our relationships, our lives a gossip-free zone?  We’d probably be surprised at how much time we’d free up to do the work that’s most significant- building our dreams rather than tearing down others’.”  ~Oprah
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If you have judged in the past it is probably safe to say you are human.  Part of learning, growing, maturing is becoming conscious of our actions and taking responsibility for them, then doing better the next time around.  Judgement is poison; toxic to the individual judging, as well as others.  How is it possible to reach your full potential if you are wasting any of your energy judging?

Why do we judge?  Often because something is going on with us.  We may be feeling insecure.  Change the focus from verbally harming someone else, by removing yourself from the downward spiral, and focus on what you can do to change what is going wrong inside.  Acknowledge what feels wrong and control your thoughts by saying positive mantras to change directions.

Looking back I have realized often when I catch myself being judgemental it is really about an insecurity I am having.  I don’t feel good about some aspect of myself.  I am not skinny enough or pretty enough.  I’m completely wasting my energy beating myself up about something instead of loving myself.   You start judging someone else because you feel bad and you waste even more of yourself.  It is much easier to remove judgement from your life when you are immediately aware of your thoughts and words.

Recognize judgement as an act you don’t want to participate in.  This makes it easier to do better.  Spend time working through insecurities, and on your greater purpose.  Feel better by making a difference in the life of another.
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Comments

03/09/2011 9:16pm

I need this! I need this! I can be so judgmental, and I agree...judgments often stem from our own insecurities. Thank you for sharing this reminder tonight. I hope that tomorrow is full of happy moments, joyful conversation and plates of satisfying food!

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03/10/2011 3:22pm

@Monet-

Thank you, Monet! I hope you have a wonderful weekend <3

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03/11/2011 4:11am

Agreed. It can be hard, but I think it can be harder when one lives in a judgment/gossip zone. Harder for the person living in it as the target of the ill-talk/thinking, and harder for the one doing the ill-talk/thinking. For the latter, I think it feeds insecurity with all the comparing, judging, etc. taking up valuable space in the mind and the heart. For the former, I think it leads to suspicion and distance - also not good things.

Being aware makes a huge difference, as you say. At least for me. It also forces me to slow down and think of the implications of my thoughts and words - on others and also on myself. Somehow that is extending to other areas of my life, with an increased awareness of my overall choices. Which I think *is* a good thing.

Happy weekend to you!

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