Fear. Why is it a part of our lives?

Fear for many reasons is not rational.  We are using our energy in a negative way.  What we fear is not actually happening to us.  I have struggled with fear and anxiety in my own life.  I know now that you can step behind the fear, observe it, and consciously understand that what you fear is not happening so it loses its grip on you.

Thoughts are powerful.  Thoughts of fear are powerful and they create more fear.  To be the watcher of your thoughts, step behind them, and be able to see and observe what you are feeling, is the essence of living consciously and living in the now.  When you can observe what you are thinking, and become aware when your thoughts are not rational, and not productive, they lose their potency.  In this way you can be fully present.

There are many lessons I want to teach my children.  One of my greatest challenges is teaching them in a way that they will understand.  For example, my son fears bumble bees.  Sometimes this fear can really get him upset.  At the same time he is not actually being stung or hurt by a bee even though the negativity his mind creates can have a powerful effect on him.  Being able to stay present and to understand that fear is not who we are is the best tool we have.  So how do I express that to a 5 year old?

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There is a difference between fear, and following your instincts or having the knowledge of the consequence to an action.  I do not intentionally try to touch bees, hold them, or swat at them because I know the consequence is that I may get stung.  However, I do not fear them.  Fear can enter the equation unnecessarily at times, and create stress that is not only unproductive, it is harmful.

The biggest realization I have about fear is- if it is not happening right now, why am I afraid of it?

Next time you feel fear ask yourself that question.  It is a quick and effective way to step behind the fear, realize it’s irrational, and move on in a more positive light.

If you have any tips for me on how to express that better for young children to understand, please do share!  It is the challenge I am currently working on to be a good teacher to my little ones.

Have a beautiful day, friends!

p.s. my son said he does like bees a tincy bit because they make honey for us, and that is really nice of them! :)

 


Comments

06/02/2011 4:43am

Hi There. The title struck a nerve with me as my son is currently in Afghanistan and leaving in a few days to go into combat. As I am his mom he expresses his fear, calmly. The old twang of a mom hearing her "child" is afraid comes raging back even at 21 and as a marine, lol. I basically told him what my parachute instructor told me, "Fear can be your best friend if used properly, it keeps you sharp and alert but don't ever panic."

I have my own fears creeping daily over this but I keep clear in my heart his skills and experience and the fact that his new family, the Corp., has taught him well and he will be safe!

Thanks for sharing and it was very timely for me.

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06/02/2011 7:10am

having faith can erase fear but sometimes fear is necessary to protect ourselves :)

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06/02/2011 11:29am

Fear can also be a healthy thing that keeps us from harm. It is hard to teach children about caution and avoidance without making them fearful. It gets more complicated still because not everything works for every child. Have a great day. Blessings...Mary

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06/02/2011 12:24pm

I so agree Wendy! I find that my response changes depending on what the fear is. It definitely needs some flexibility but I think that your question is an excellent way to refocus on why you are afraid of something.

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06/02/2011 5:06pm

@Kirsten-

I really appreciate hearing your thoughts on fear, and I feel so grateful there are people like your son protecting us. Your words meant a lot to me. Have a beautiful evening!

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06/02/2011 7:40pm

You are a wise person indeed! A nice post that makes one think... Thank you! You have a beautiful day too!

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06/03/2011 1:20pm

Thank you for this! No words can really express what my comments are to this post and I know you understand why. Thank you times a million.

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06/04/2011 11:34am

I am facing that same situation with my daughter (6 years old)..
I really wish I can help her manage fear..I try to break down things she is afraid of..say bees..give her as much scientific info about it..for example I get her books and stories about it..we google it together and try to understand what we fear..sometimes that helps because I feel the more you know about something...the more you can control your reactions to it

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