Picture
Morning routine: kids demand breakfast.  Mommy complies to the demands with some negotiation of fruit mixed in.  Mommy empties the dishwasher while preparing and serving breakfast.  Kids are seated and eating at the table. Mommy jaunts down the hall to throw some laundry in the washing machine, while trying not to trip over objects that have already made their way to the floor.  The floor is probably magnetic! 

Mommy seizes opportunity to quickly go to the bathroom BY HERSELF.  Oh man!  It didn’t work.  As quick as Mommy is the 5 year old is even quicker, and he pops his head in the door.  Did you know children have a six sense for that type of thing?  It’s true.  That is why their timing is so darn PERFECT!

“What is going on?  Why aren’t you eating breakfast?”

“My sister spilled her cereal and milk all over the floor!”

“What???”

“And she spilled her yogurt, TOO!”

“Ugh.  Are you kidding me?! “

 “It’s OK.  My fault” Mommy says with a hint of sarcasm. 

Mommy starts talking to herself “What was I thinking leaving you guys alone in the dining area for all of 2 seconds?  I mean really. I should not do your laundry while you are awake.  How rude of me!  Washing your clothes should only be done while you are sleeping.  Let me just add that to the ‘While the Kids Are Sleeping List’.

Next comes the crazy Mommy thoughts- “Can I charge extra for a bowl of cereal and yogurt all over the floor?  Can I send them a bill?  Late payments will be accepted.  Who I am kidding- my kids can’t afford me!”

Back out to the kitchen Mommy goes to clean up the mess with the simple request that the children help her clean.  Good habits start young after all, and who wouldn’t want kids to smear the mess over an even larger surface area to make cleaning more fun?  And if Mommy is really lucky, the kids will skate around in the mess a little too so they can get their feet nicely covered and drag it further around the house, but that’s just on a good day.

Already a child is yelling from the bathroom at the top of their lungs “Mommy come wipe me! Right NOW!  Hurry Up!  Open. The. Door!”

Mommy quickly sets down the breakfast she was about to shove down her throat.  No one wants to leave a little one in the bathroom for long with too much time on their hands.  We’ll just leave it at that.

The clock chimes 7:30am.  What time does Daddy get home?  Crap!  He’s got a business dinner tonight  :-/

Any Moms out there available for a ‘business dinner'?  I could really use one of those!

 


Comments

Vishnu
07/29/2011 5:02am

Time for a pay raise:) And if the kids are not willing to pony up that six figure income, you're left with 1) a lifetime of indebtedness and gratitude (by them!) 2) productive future citizens of the world and 3)subjects for blog posts.

Reply
07/29/2011 8:36am

@Vishnu -
thank you for your comment Vishnu! It made me smile :) They're paying me in hugs & kisses.

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07/29/2011 5:07pm

This reminds me of the quotation by Bill Cosby, "A new father quickly learns that his child invariably comes to the bathroom at precisely the times when he’s in there, as if he needed company. The only way for this father to be certain of bathroom privacy is to shave at the gas station."

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pat
07/29/2011 9:11pm

very funny!
p

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07/29/2011 10:22pm

lol, oh my. what a handful but isn't it so worth it? you will miss it soon enough I'm sure!

virtual hugs <<<>>>> to you and I wish I could have a business dinner with you sometime!

Reply
08/01/2011 4:11pm

@ BK -

GREAT quote!! Thanks so much for sharing it with me.

@Pat -

Can you just picture it?! ;-)

@Laurel-

YES! Would love to get together for a 'business' dinner!!

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