My higher self does not want me to yell. It is the rest of me that is struggling with it!
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Fortunately, she doesn’t seem too phased by my yelling today!
This isn’t my first post about yelling, but man it would be freakin great if it
was my last! Yelling really bothers me. Yet, you’d never know that if you
listened to our morning routine some days.

Yelling make me feel like crap! It makes me feel guilty. According to Heal Your Body by Louise Hay, guilt can be translated into the body as middle back pain. Check – sometimes I have that, but I usually like to blame it on tough exercises. Inflexibility and stubbornness, who me? Isn’t every parent? This may be expressed in the body as neck pain. You mean it’s not just from sitting at the computer too long using a mouse?

If you think about it you can come up with a million excuses for any pain in
your body. Believe me I have! When you’ve had enough and you are ready to get real with yourself, ask what is at the root of the pain? Having the book Heal Your Body in my bedside table helps keep me in check with my authentic self. I know that the power to change is always within me.

Kids have this tendency to want to push back against parents with brushing their teeth, brushing their hair, getting dressed, putting dishes away, making beds, going to the bathroom. I’d keep listing but the internet may not be big enough. This is simply part of the child’s DNA. Trust me, it’s in the handbook!

We all know the key to happiness is accepting you cannot control what others do, just how you react. Well crap if I keep knocking my heard against a wall and resort to yelling after the umpteenth time of repeating myself. Please someone invent a robot to follow the kids around repeating itself because I know the robot won’t start yelling, it will probably just run out of batteries.

The morning starts with good intentions and me looking my kids directly in their eyes asking them nicely to do the same thing as yesterday- put their clothes on, underwear first. Even though we give ourselves plenty of time, when the minutes unwind closer to the infamous circle time that is when the yelly Mommy rears her ugly head.

Who wants to drop their kid off at school after yelling at them about stupid
things like getting the food bugs off their teeth? No one. Not me!

I know this parent-child battle will continue long after I am dead, but I’d love
to change my part now and stop resorting to yelling. I really don’t want to
yell, almost as stubbornly as I want my kids to go to the bathroom when they 1st have to pee!

When I envision my children being adults, maybe parents one day, I don’t want them to become yelly monsters with their kids. Therefore, I know I am
responsible for setting the example now. It may kill me in the process, but I am determined to cut out the yelling permanently. I despise it I say! This post is a desperate plea to find someone with children who has successfully completed this mission. Is there anyone out there? If so, I really hope you find me.

Please give me your tips!

How do you successfully restrain yourself from yelling when the child DNA is
driving you mad?


Please help me figure this out before my kids become teenagers (I’ve heard many frightening stories) or I might just crack!

 


Comments

I am right there with you, sister!! Kids are soooo frustrating at times.

Sigh...sometimes I just have to walk away or ask my husband for help.

Reply
02/20/2012 6:05pm

Sending you a virtual {{hug}}. Thank you for those ideas! I definitely need a time-out sometimes.

Reply
02/21/2012 8:46am

LOL!!! -> "I’d keep listing but the internet may not be big enough."

Wendy, I completely understand. Yelling is something I work on all the time, having grown up myself in a family that communicated through shouting (ugh!). I try to keep in mind that if I'd kept a log of my last 20 years or so, I'm sure I'd see a steady decline in the amount of yelling I do, and a particularly steep drop once I had children (they do bring out the best... okay, and the worst), but when you're in the MIDST of a frustrating situation, it's hard to remember that you ARE improving, and that you ARE doing better.

It's so interesting that you posted this today - or yesterday - i just saw it in my email today - because I just finished a post about what we were working on yesterday... making a vision board for increased PEACE in our household! We pasted on phrases like, "take some deep breaths" and "keep calm" and "try to focus on what you CAN control: your own mood..."

Not sure if it will work, but at the very least, the effort we took together, working towards peace, felt good. Maybe you could try this.

I'm also thinking of making a chart for the kids - not with rewards - but just with illustrations of the things that they need to do in the morning to get ready, in the hopes with a bit more self-direction (and thus, less mommy-nagging), mornings will go more smoothly. :)

Reply
02/22/2012 6:25am

Kelly, I appreciate your comment and ideas so much! Making a vision board is a fantastic idea. My children love projects and I know they would love that too. Having something they could refer to for the morning routine is brilliant! I hope you have a lovely day! Thanks again!!!

Reply



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