Sometimes, no matter how safe you think your friends are…there really is no way to know how other parents will handle these types of situations. It is impossible to know what type of parents they might be behind closed doors.
I blamed myself for this night because I left my two children in the care of a good friend.
My choices were limited as I tried to handle an emergency with my new baby. I assumed my friend would take care of my children in the same manner that I had cared for hers. As a result, my child was traumatized by a very long and unpleasant night. I realized that morning that a sexual abuse attempt had knocked at my door. And, I let it in! I felt so guilty and angry! I was so proud and amazed by my son and the safety plan he developed during that night. I never told him that this type of thing could happen with a friend. And, I did not explain to him the techniques sexual abusers us to get their victims to cooperate. The books we read didn’t cover that. I didn’t think I needed to explain to my 5 year old what a threat, bribe, blackmail, peer pressure and manipulation were. Sadly, this is the reality! We cannot prevent everything from happening in our world. We can’t roll them up in bubble wrap and keep them in the house. Sometimes, I really wish I could because this would eliminate all of my various panics and trips to the doctor’s office and ER! But we can limit the chances our children will experience something like a very bad sleepover by studying up on this topic with our children.
Education and awareness are key for parents as they attempt to keep their children safe. Please visit the non-profit organization “darkness 2 light” and read about the 7 steps for parents on sexual abuse prevention. Read and research! www.d2l.org
What can you do right now, aside from bubble wrap?
children or adults without your presence.
2. Think carefully about the safety of any
- Not only do you need to prepare you children for the possible dangers of adults. But, they need to know that this type of thing can happen with friends, at school, on the bus, at a team sport event, or day car.
- The chances are it will be a friend or somebody they know and trust.
- Choose group situations when possible. This goes for tweens and teens. Your children are always safer with a buddy or a group.
- Think carefully about the safety of situations in which older children have access to younger children. Make sure that multiple adults are present who can supervise.
- Set an example by personally avoiding one-adult/one-child situations with children other than your own. If you do have a play date or sleepover keep a constant eye on all children and do not allow play behind closed doors.
- Encourage your child to ask questions.
- Teach your child age appropriate lessons on the body and human sexuality.
- By accepting that children’s natural curiosity about sexuality and gender differences as normal and healthy, parents build a basis for positive attitudes toward sexuality. Parents can then teach their children how to recognize real danger.
- Use scenario discussions and role-playing to clarify what is appropriate and with whom. BE SPECIFIC!
Please visit our new blog: www.sexualabuseprevention.blogspot.com or our website www.kid2kidpublishing.com
Kimberly King lives in Virginia beach with her three children. She is a mom on a mission to spread the message of sexual abuse prevention to families. Together with her son, Zack, they wrote a book called, "I Said No! A kid- to -kid guide to keeping private parts private. She is a certified "Steward of Children" through the Darkness 2 Light non-profit organization. Kimberly has a Master's Degree in Education from Wheelock College and writes self help books for kids, with kids, from a child's perspective.
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